18 Things You Need to Know About Elopement Weddings
Everything You Need to Know Before You Elope
The decision to elope often feels natural for couples who crave an intimate and adventurous experience.
However, it’s important to acknowledge that a significant number of couples still deal with uncertainty when it comes to planning what to do on their wedding day.
Do they go through the motion and have the traditional ceremony and party, or do they prioritize their own experiences and plan an elopement to have a special day just for themselves?
Balancing the pros and cons of each option can be challenging, and while I personally advocate for elopements, I know firsthand that it isn’t a one-size-fits-all choice!
If you find yourself in this dilemma, seeking answers about whether to elope or not, this is where I might be able to help. I have helped couples plan their elopement and below are some of the important questions they asked!
There are several compelling reasons why couples choose to have an elopement over a traditional wedding, and each reason is valid as long as it aligns with their conscious choice.
It’s essential to recognize that your reasons may differ from those of others but it’s always a good idea to truly know why you’re eloping.
This is not about justifying your decision to anyone else but rather about ensuring that you have a clear and unwavering sense of why eloping is right for you.
If you’re new to the world of elopements though, you’re likely to have numerous questions so I wanted to provide you with a quick and comprehensive understanding by sharing some of the questions I have received from couples.
Let’s get started!
If you need more hands-on help or support, I highly recommend you join online communities for couples who are looking to elope, or have already eloped, on Facebook, Reddit or other trusted social platform.
Who knows? Their stories may be incredibly insightful to you and you’ll gain valuable answers to much personal questions about eloping.
Understanding Elopement Weddings
If you're new to the concept, you're not alone. Here's everything you need to know about what an elopement actually is before anything else:
WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO ELOPE?
An elopement is a wedding where couples embrace an intimate setting with the main purpose to have the freedom to decide the 'what,' 'how,' 'where,' and 'why' of their special day. It's a wedding free from external judgments, be it from your family or friends, and removed stress from catering to outside expectations.
An elopement wedding is all about putting your desires and preferences at the forefront of your wedding day.
It's your opportunity to craft a celebration that is tailored to your personality and interests, allowing you to make unique adjustments to the timeline that truly reflect who you are.
IS ELOPING CONSIDERED A LEGAL MARRIAGE?
Another thing you need to know about elopements is that yes, it is a legal marriage as long as you follow the legal requirements of your local and state office (or embassy/consulate of the country you’re eloping at) and obtain the signature of your ordained officiant and witnesses, if needed.
The logistics will depend on where you want to elope!
Once you’re on the planning stages, make sure to do your research, chat with the officials, and ask your ordained officiant any questions to help you understand the process better.
Don’t forget to clarify who will be submitting the marriage license back to the local or state offices after all signatures have been provided. This will ensure there’s no misunderstanding or delays in processing and filing!
DO I HAVE TO MARRY AT CITY HALL?
You aren't limited to just City Halls when it comes to choosing a wedding venue for your elopement. In fact, the possibilities are endless. You have the freedom to tie the knot in a location that holds special meaning to you whether that is your backyard or at a place abroad.
The key is to ensure that you complete the necessary paperwork and meet the legal requirements specific to your chosen location.
Married abroad has its own complications though — Certain countries have rigorous and complex legal requirements so it’s often advisable to have the legal marriage done at your local city office first and then enjoy a symbolic ceremony at your desired destination.
This approach allows you to have the best of both worlds—a legally binding marriage and a stunning symbolic wedding in a place away from home.
HERE ARE SOME ELOPEMENT LOCATIONS TO INSPIRE YOU!
COMMON MISCONCEPTIONS ABOUT ELOPING
As you start sharing the news about wanting to elope, it’s possible that friends and family may have opinions about it, but just remember that those opinions are often based on assumptions, not experience.
So, take what they say with a grain of salt and focus on what actually feels right for you!
False: “Oh, that’s too bad, so you won’t be wearing a real wedding dress?” Truth: This is still your wedding day. If a princess-cut gown or a sharp tux is what you want, go for it. Just be mindful of your location! If you're hiking to your ceremony spot, comfort matters.
False: “So it’s just going to be the two of you? No one will celebrate you” Truth: So what if it is? The two of you choosing each other is worth celebrating regardless of who's watching. But if having loved ones there matters to you, modern elopements absolutely allow for that too. A small ceremony with a few guests, a family dinner after, a reception months later, it all counts. You get to define what celebration looks like!
False: “Isn't that just signing papers at the courthouse?” Truth: It’s only that if you want it to be. But make a day of it! Plan 1-2 experiences with your partner (like a picnic, a hike, or a helicopter tour). Treat it like the most important date of your life, because it is.
False: “It's not a real wedding if you didn't spend money on it.” Truth: Meaning isn't measured by budget. Clarify your priorities first, then decide where to splurge and where to save. Eloping just means your money goes toward what actually matters to you.
IF I HAVE AN ELOPEMENT WITH GUESTS, IS IT STILL AN ELOPEMENT?
Most elopements are just for the couple and the required number of witness.
But if you want to have a handful of your closest loved ones with you, I personally consider it an elopement.
A good rule of thumb, from the point of view of a wedding vendor, is:
Up to 10-15 guests, likely considered an elopement
From 16-50 guests, likely considered as an intimate/micro wedding
Over 51 guests, likely considered a regular wedding
Please keep in mind that many venues and ceremony locations restrict the number of guests you can have.
For example, many State Parks and National Parks have a cap for 10-15 guests in some areas; and up to 50-ish for others.
Some other locations don’t even permit you to set up chairs for them to sit so keep that in mind when putting your plans together.
Deciding if Eloping is Right For You
Once you understand what eloping means, the next question is whether it's the right choice for you. These are the things most couples think through before making their decision:
WHY SHOULD YOU CONSIDER ELOPING?
Traditional weddings often come with significant financial and emotional burdens that can weigh heavily on couples. Whether that be internal or external pressures, they can sometimes prompt them to reconsider their plans and opt for an elopement instead.
But outside of that, there are many other motivations behind the decision to elope. Some of the reasons include wanting reduced stress, the avoidance of hosting duties, and even a commitment to environmental consciousness.
Your personal reason for choosing to elope may be unique but it’s equally valid and significant!
HOW DO WE TELL OUR FAMILY AND FRIENDS?
This is always a tough one and you’ll come to find out that there isn’t really a right way to do it.
Even if your loved ones support your decision to elope, there’ll always be someone upset. And even worse, if you’re inviting just a few guests, some may be happy to know they were invited while the rest…might not. And that sucks to deal with.
Ultimately, remember that your elopement is about how you want to spend it and with who. It’s no one else's business to tell you how you should go about it and it’s not okay for upset people to guilt-trip you.
People are entitled to their opinion but it’s not an excuse to push you or rain on your parade.
If you’re not inviting anyone, as soon as you know you’re going to elope, share the news with your closest people and let them know it’ll be an intimate experience with your fiancé(e) only. If you want to extend a ‘distant’ invite, you can include them in your day by asking them to write you love letters so you can read them on your elopement day. This is a small but meaningful way to include loved ones in such a special day.
That all said, be open minded. Some people will cheer you on while others will find a way to make you feel like you’re hurting them. Try your best to understand that their reaction has nothing to do with you.
CAN WE STILL HAVE A RECEPTION AFTER ELOPING?
YES, YOU CAN!
Whether you’re doing it to invite everyone or just the guests that couldn’t be present at your elopement, you can plan to host a reception later on. This can either be a huge party or a simple dinner at a fancy restaurant.
Couples do this to be able to celebrate with loved ones once they are in a better financial state or to simply compromise. So make sure you set money & time aside (in advance) to plan it out.
And also remember: having a reception is only worth the effort if it’s something you truly want to do.
If you’re having a reception after eloping, I recommend that you set the date for 2-3 months after you elope. This will give you extra time to enjoy your newly-married status, plan last-minute things, and even finalize guests’ RSVP details.
IS IT WEIRD TO SEND ‘WE ELOPED’ CARDS?
Not weird. It’s honestly becoming more common to do so!
Sending cards is optional as well but it’s a nice way to announce your marriage in a formal manner. In my opinion, it’s better than your loved ones finding out through a Facebook or Instagram post.
If you choose to send cards, it’s ideal to wait AFTER your elopement for two reasons:
1) You’ll have photos from your day to use (from your photographer); and,
2) People won’t press for details and surprise you by showing up unannounced to your ceremony site, if you’re not inviting anyone
So, what would you write? Here’s a sample script for a card to be sent after your elopement:
“Dear xx, it’s with the happiest of hearts that we want to let you know we’ve tied the knot! We spent a beautiful and intimate day at [location] on [date] -- We truly loved [add specific details about date, location or ceremony here]. Thank you for supporting us on this special day for us!”
If you’re having a reception later on, you can add something like:
“Please save the date for our upcoming reception on [date] at [time] and come celebrate with us. Details to come soon!”
What You’ll Need to Start Planning Your Elopement Wedding
Once you've decided eloping is right for you, here's what actually goes into making it happen:
WHY DO I NEED AN ELOPEMENT PHOTOGRAPHER?
While the difference between a wedding photographer and an elopement photographer may seem trivial to you, booking someone who specializes in elopements is crucial to meet your needs.
Choosing the right elopement photographer will benefit you since they possess knowledge in planning elopement timelines, navigating permit applications, and scouting locations.
That is all in addition to their expertise in capturing authentic emotions and love in the outdoors or other non-traditional setting while creating lasting memories that you can share with family and friends.
By the way, I'm Sara, a photographer that helps couples plan and photograph intimate elopements. If you're starting to picture what yours could look like, I'd love to be part of that!
DO I NEED AN OFFICIANT?
In the US, there are a few states where you can self-solemnize which means you don’t have to hire an officiant to marry you; You can do it with your partner and on your own!
But most states don’t allow that (in California, it appears to be allowed in about 2 counties so do your research!) so you’ll need to figure out where to have your elopement first, then research the logistics of what you’ll need to do to make the ceremony legal.
If you choose to have a symbolic ceremony abroad, you’ll need to find someone to perform it that is legally registered to officiate in that country.
DO I NEED A WEDDING PLANNER?
If you book an elopement photographer and plan to keep it small, with less than about 15 guests, then an elopement planner is truly not necessary.
This is because your elopement photographer can help get your timeline in order, plus assist with permit applications and recommend restaurants for your party. Pretty much you can also plan the rest of the day without much hassle.
But if you’re having more guests (think catering and renting a venue) OR if you’re planning to marry in another country, I suggest you hire a planner that knows the ins-and-out already.
If you book one, it’s possible that they can also help with figuring out the legal paperwork as well as finding the perfect venue for a reception/dinner.
HOW DO I GET A PERMIT TO MARRY AT [X] LOCATION?
The process for obtaining the necessary permissions and licenses for your wedding varies depending on the location you choose.
Typically, your first step would involve contacting your local City Hall office and State office to understand the legal prerequisites for obtaining a marriage license.
Secondly, you’ll need to look for a venue or location. If you’re envisioning your elopement wedding at a National Park or State Park, visit their website and then get in touch with the Special Events officer who oversees your desired location. They can help with understanding the permit application and payment process.
If your elopement dreams involve an international destination though, contact the embassy or consulate of the country in question.
This is crucial because the requirements will differ significantly from one country to another. While some may have minimal prerequisites, others may have stringent regulations, which can become especially challenging if you aren't fluent in their language.
If it all sounds confusing, you can ask your elopement photographer to help you figure out a list of great elopement locations to fit your wants and needs, and to help you understand the permitting process.
WHEN IS THE BEST MONTH TO ELOPE?
Spring and Fall are the perfect seasons for elopements in the U.S. But the date you choose will depend on what your vision is and what is accessible during that time.
For example, if you want a skiing elopement, then you’d need to figure out when the highest snowfall is in the area you want to elope at. On the contrary, if you want your celebration day to be dry and sunny, then you’d need to look for dates and locations that align with those conditions.
When it comes to selecting the date, opting for a weekday is often the only choice. This is because a lot of locations don’t allow events to occur on weekends due to visitors. It’s not uncommon for couples to choose to elope on a Tuesday, Wednesday or Thursday.
HOW MUCH DOES ELOPING COST?
Elopements are generally more affordable than traditional weddings but the range is wider than most people expect. It really comes down to your priorities and how you want to spend your day.
There are three general categories:
Budget Elopements. These are typically up to $5,000. A simple, intimate timeline close to home with 1-3 hours of photography coverage.
Full-Day Adventure or Luxury Elopements. Typically cost between $5,000 to $20,000. Think traveling to a popular destination, hiking to a mountaintop ceremony, doing helicopter rides, or staying at high-end properties, plus having full day photography coverage.
Destination Elopements. The range varies depending on location but it’s comparable to a vacation budget, plus any additional vendors you bring along.
Not sure where your elopement falls? Read the full elopement budget breakdown here!
What to Expect on Your Elopement Day
Wondering what your day will actually feel and look like? Here's what to expect:
DO I NEED TO BE ADVENTUROUS TO ELOPE?
Nope! This is a huge misconception. Couples don’t need to be highly adventurous to have an elopement in cool locations. Elopements are incredibly versatile and can cater to a wide range of preferences.
If you’re not into extreme activities like hiking, there are so many spots that can be reached by car. These locations offer the perfect solution for couples looking for unique landscapes without stepping too far out of what’s comfortable for them.
Ultimately every elopement, regardless of where it happens, is an adventure in itself. Through the shared experience and emotional connection between the couple, this journey is one for the books!
WILL IT BE BORING WITH NO GUESTS?
They can be short (although I recommend a 4-hour minimum) but that doesn’t mean it will be boring.
If you’re worried that you’ll have an ‘empty’ day when you elope without guests, I’m here to tell you that this is exactly the reason for an elopement! I know it sounds ironic but, seriously, when you elope you can create a timeline that is unique to YOU.
Since you’re spending a little less money on things you don’t actually need (like catering a large party), you have extra room to fill the day with your favorite activities so long as they fit into your budget.
What activities you choose will depend on what you enjoy but to give you a few ideas, couples often book a luxury picnic, go on a hike, and even book helicopter tours of the city!
SAMPLE ELOPEMENT TIMELINES AND ACTIVITIES
So now you have a better understanding that an elopement can last as short or as long as you want it to be. Here's some inspiration for filling your day with moments that feel personal and meaningful.
Activities to consider:
Hiking
Kayaking
Camping
Helicopter rides
A luxury picnic,
Making breakfast together
Taking a hands-on class
Painting or building something together
Walking around town visiting your favorite spots
Traditional moments you can still incorporate:
Going the non-traditional route doesn't mean giving up the moments that matter to you. Many couples choose to incorporate the following into their elopement days:
First Looks by partners, parents, or friends
Walking down the ‘aisle’
First Dance after the ceremony
Reception/Party, even if it’s months later
Want to see what an elopement day actually looks like hour by hour? I put together sample timelines for a half-day, full-day, and 10+ hour elopement so you can start picturing what yours could look like.
Taking the Next Step on Your Elopement Plans
After reading these common elopement questions, chances are eloping is starting to feel less like a question and more like the answer to your wedding plans.
Whether you're still sorting through the logistics or you're ready to plan with the right person to help you pull it all together, I'd love to hear from you!
Did you find this post helpful? Save it for later!
Hello, I’m Sara!
I hope this post gives you clarity, fresh ideas, or at least one solid next step as you plan your day.
If you’re newly engaged or already knee-deep in decisions, I’m genuinely so excited for you! This season goes by quickly, and it deserves to feel thoughtful instead of overwhelming 🤍
I’m here to help with that.
I’m always happy to chat through ideas, look at beautiful places, shape a plan that feels grounded and realistic, and make sure the timeline flows easily.
And when your special day arrives, I’ll guide you when you need it, step back when you don’t, and photograph whatever unfolds naturally.
Just know that you don’t have to figure it all out on your own!
